This night started out to be pretty innocent, my boss had offered tickets to the Avalanche-Red Wings playoff game 3 in the Pepsi center. As we all know Red Wings fans are douche masters. Touting their passion for a team that has imported players from anywhere but North America for as long as I can remember. I guess they have to root for something since their city is such a piece of shit. Why else would they all be here?
Meat and I start out what seems to be a normal night. Get dinner at the D, drink some margs, walk to the game. The whole time I’m getting excited to heckle what I believe to be the worst fans ever to emerge from a city that resembles my last dump. As we are walking we can hear a lot of other Avalanche fans expressing the same feelings that we have.
The game starts and is SOP is in effect……get some beers. As we walk to our section we notice that we are completely surrounded by douche bags in red. This can’t be good I think to myself. Avs score one and take the early lead. This gives us ample room to talk shit. Shortly after, the lead was taken away, we wouldn’t get it back for the rest of the game. I resort to third grade behaviour at this point. Meeting up with a friend and his dad resulted in shots and more beer……..I am now a little more cocked. I realize I cannot stand these plugs sitting around me. Its like all the crap that didn’t even play hockey growing up because their parents thought they might get hurt, yet somehow they are huge hockey fans. Douche! Plug! I start chriping…….as we all know how I love to do that. I raise a scene such that the usher has to scold me. I calm down for a few and am right back at it.
Well, the game ends with unfavorable results and I start going at it real hard at this point. So much that I put 2 and 2 together and realize I have beer in my hand and there are douche bags all around me, so I pour the remaining contents onto one of their heads. He didn’t really like that too much, neither did the entire section. Ground zero douche tries diving after me through Meat. Meat grabs him quickly and puts him in a headlock. Meanwhile I am laughing my ass off shoving what seems like 10 people off of me. Basically a fucking melee of red coming after 2 guys that find the entire scene hysterical. Some chick does manage to elbow me in the face, makes me laugh harder and infuriates her more. HAHA! This goes on for a little while before the usher decides to step in and give us and escort outta there. Probably a good thing. I run into a few people I know, Colorado is small, I haven’t grown up a bit.
Night wasn’t over yet, I had managed to throw up on one of the statues off of Spear in front of the convention center while peeing and waving at traffic. Also managed to walk home the 2.5 miles somehow. Puked again in the comfort of my own home.
