Well, my pooped ‘em story isn’t as cool, but does go further back in time. I was like 13 and I threw up so hard i pooped em, but i guess that doesn’t really count because it didn’t involve alcohol. So I will go with the story that qualifies me for the pooped ‘em category.
The second glorious year at the School of Mines, I lived in an apartment by myself, even though I could normally be found at “The Jackson House.” In my mind the Jackson house has some of the best drinking memories, but the pooped ‘em night does not stand out as a good night. The pooped ‘em night may be know as “Change for 40oz night” to the average person. This night started with all the guys finding coinage in their rooms, the couch, under the refrigerator… where ever! And then taking this change to the beer store for as many 40oz bottles as possible. We may or may not have been underage at the time, but I do remember getting amazing strength after finishing my first 2 40oz! I was pulling cemented mail boxes out of the ground and punching holes through brick walls…ok maybe that is a little exaggerated, but I really beer strength’d that mail box out of the ground.
Well after that night’s festivities concluded, I decided I would go home. I took one of the remaining 40oz in the fridge and hopped in the jeep. I got home safely, thanks to to jeepy’s magic driving skills, and decided to drink my remaining 40oz. There was something stupid on TV, I think it was jackass, but i watched it and drank the 40oz until it was gone. This is where the night went upside-down. The 120oz of beer combined with the adrenaline of pulling mail boxes out of the ground turned my stomach into a spin-cycle of fun and anger.
The fluids decided to shoot of my mouth with no remorse. The halfway digested beer actually left my mouth with such haste that my ass lost all control. My flannel boxers filled with the poop and the pooped ‘em was complete. I woke up with a hangover and the smell of shit flowing from the soiled shorts in the trash can.
I don’t regret “change for 40oz night,” or the result of drink 3 40oz. I just know that I am now a member of the pooped ‘em club and officially a badass!
